How does one change themselves in a relationship? Is it really worth it to change yourself for someone else, or is it better to be your true self? Whether you are dating somebody who is controlling and manipulative, or somebody who doesn’t know what they want, the best way to change the relationship is by changing yourself.
In a relationship where you feel controlled and manipulated, sometimes change yourself means making a decision to stop putting up with their behavior.
What is a relationship?
A relationship is a connection between two or more people that can be intimate, familial, or platonic. A relationship is as unique as the people involved in it, but it typically can be broken down into three categories. Each category has its own set of rules that govern the behavior of people within that relationship.
Relationships change constantly with time. For one thing, they start off at different points on the spectrum of intimacy. Relationships are hard. In a relationship, you have to work at it everyday. One way to make a relationship work is by changing yourself. Sometimes it can be easy to slip into a certain routine that doesn't really go well with the other person's routine. Changing your habits and routines will help your relationship work better and last longer.
Changing yourself in relationship
Relationships can be hard and exhausting, but they can also be rewarding and fulfilling. To make it work, both people need to make an effort and try to adapt. When one person is not willing to change themselves in a relationship, this will often result in the break up of the relationship.
Perpetuating this type of cycle will bring you more of the same results. You must learn to compromise for your partner, if you want your relationship to last.
Why do people change in relationships?
According to the American Psychological Association, there are six major things that can change in a relationship. These include changing your expectations of your partner, the way you communicate with your partner, how you show love to your partner, how you act around your partner, what you do for yourself and how much outside support you have. Here is what each of these sections means:
In a successful relationship, both partners should want to change themselves because it's one of the keys for a healthy and happy relationship. But in some cases, only one person is interested in changing themselves while the other is satisfied with their current situation. One example of this is when one partner wishes to spend more time together with their spouse, but the other doesn't feel like they need to make any changes in their lifestyle.
Relationships are some of the most important parts of our lives. We learn who we are, what we want, and how to love by seeing what happens with them. When it's good, it's really good. But when it's bad, it can leave you feeling shaky for a long time. And if they're bad enough? You'll wish they never happened at all.
10 Steps to change yourself in relationship
Some people are born lucky. When they meet someone, they feel an instant connection. The stars align, the music swells, and their eyes lock for what feels like an eternity. Others aren't so lucky. They meet someone who doesn't seem interested in them, or they have to go through multiple dates before they can find someone who wants to be with them.
Step 1: Do Better Communication
The end of a relationship can be devastating and sometimes we may blame ourselves and think that we could have done better. There is no magic to changing someone else, but there are ways you can change yourself within the relationship to make it better. Communication is key in any relationship so keep talking about what's bothering you and how you feel.
Step 2: Common interests
Sitting down for a one-on-one with your partner can be tough, but it is important. Figuring out what your common interests are can give you something to bond over while you talk about the other things that are bothering you. When you feel like you have nothing in common with your partner any more, start by talking about what brought you together in the first place.
Step 3: Finding common ground
If you're in a relationship and find yourself in a similar situation to the one mentioned, then do not hesitate to monitor your thought process and take responsibility for your thoughts and feelings. Remember that if you don't like how someone is treating you, there's nothing stopping you from walking out the door and ending the relationship.
Step 4: Making changes for the other person
Most people will change for someone else in order to keep the relationship, but that doesn't always mean it's healthy. Changing your personality to suit others can lead to low self-esteem, depression and resentment over time. When you're in a romantic relationship, it is important to not only focus on pleasing the other person but also on please yourself.
You may think you know yourself, but as a relationship progresses with boyfriend, you find that your partner's wants and needs have an impact on who you are. Sometimes it is easier to change your habits to better suit your partner, but this doesn't always work out.
It can be difficult to change yourself in a relationship, but it is worth it. Here are five things you can do to make the most of your relationship.
- Be conscientious about what you say and do. Try not to put people down or criticize them.
- Respectfully ask for what you want, whether that is time for yourself or space from the other person.
- Listen to your partner, and when you speak, ask if you are being heard and if what you are saying is making sense.
- Be aware of the fact that your thoughts and actions can affect your partner.
- Give and get love. Your partner needs you to give them love, but remember that you can also get love from the relationship.
Step 5: Compromise
Compromise in relationship means to accept the fact that neither of you will be 100% right all the time. Compromise means to give in or give up on an issue but not both. On difficult issues, try to keep an open mind and to avoid making a decision.
Relationships can be difficult and frustrating. It can be hard to deal with the ups and downs. But sometimes we need to take a step back and look at ourselves. Are we as self-aware as our partner? Do we see as clearly as they do? Often, when we are in a relationship that feels like it might not last, we try to change ourselves in order to keep the other person around.
Step 6: Respecting boundaries
Respecting boundaries in relationships means to show your partner that you do not mind his/her boundaries. Respect is about showing respect for the other person and being mindful of his/her boundaries. In a relationship, you should not try to change your partner's boundaries. You should respect them.
Step 7: Being honest
being honest in a relationship means to tell the other person the truth. Honesty is important in any relationship. It will help you both stay happy. Relationships are easier to have when both of you are honest with each other.
Step 8: Compassion
Compassion in a relationship means to be compassionate towards your partner. Compassion means to show your partner that you care about what he/or she is feeling. You should think about your partner's feelings and be aware of his/her feelings.
Step 9: Loving
Loving is to be compassionate towards your partner and to respect him/her. You should always be thoughtful about your partner's feelings. You should think about what your partner wants and needs.
Step 10: Forgiving
Forgiving means to not hold a grudge against your partner. Forgiving is a very important part of a relationship. You should forgive your partner if you are angry with him/her. Most people think that the only way to change in a relationship is from the inside out. But, there are things you can do from the outside in to help yourself and your partner feel more satisfied in your current situation. If you're feeling like you're in a slump and happy with where you and your partner are in life, it may be time to change who you are on the outside too, to find that spark again.
Final thoughts
Breakups are tough. Regardless of what went wrong in your relationship, you still probably loved your partner and don't want to see them go. Ending a relationship is a scary thought, but it really doesn't have to be. When two people make the decision to end their union, it can be a graceful process if both parties are willing to be open minded and work together to find a resolution that works for everyone involved.
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